April 2004
Beppu is...different, even by Japanese standards. As soon as you come off the highway, you can smell it. It wafts over you, that smell of rotten eggs and match heads characteristic of certain hot springs in Japan. But this is different, this is not just one or two buildings, it's the whole city. The entire city is like one large sulfuric hot spring, so pungent you can taste it for days until you get used to it.
The smell must be what's behind all of the weird sights in the city, even we felt a little nutters after a day there. Aside from the standard hot springs that you would expect to be able to visit, there are a large number of backwoods American highway-esque attractions worthy of a look-see.
One is the Seven Hells, a series of hot springs turned into what the owner thought seven hells would look like. We only went to one because it was expensive and hokey and there was a sex museum waiting across the street, but it was kind of cool now that I think back on it. The springs are hot enough to burn within milliseconds, rendering them unsuitable for bathing, so I guess the owner is making the best out of an unusual situation.
Across the street is the Beppu Sex Museum, housing all the pent up sexual frustrations of an entire nation, (well the part that hasn't decided to act in porn at least). It is pretty typical of sex museums, risque shots, weird fetishes, can't see, hear, speak no evil penises, you know, the usual. The blurry red shot is of Snow White being pleasured by the Seven Dwarves. There are horses fucking, monkeys fucking, and even an instructional video on how to give your lover the ride of a lifetime. The best part though, is the gift shop. The woman who work here wear uniforms like any the women do in any of the gift shops you would see in any museum in Japan, but these women don't actually seem to want to be here. They didn't seem to appreciate our mirth upon looking at the random accessories they had in stock.
Ah, good times.
